6 Lessons From Failure & Why Failure is Good For Success

Last updated on September 25th, 2025 at 03:50 pm

What Lesson do You Learn From Failure?

In this post, you will learn six impactful lessons from failure.

I’m sure that you’ve heard that success is a sequence of failures.

It sounds very inspiring until it’s your turn.

Now you have to learn how to move on.

This post is all about learning lessons from failure.

Let’s get started.

1. It’s okay to cry

You might believe that if you don’t cry, it means you’re stronger.

However, the reality is that it doesn’t make the pain any less.

Crying is, in reality, helpful.

Crying regulates your nervous system, which in turn helps relieve stress.

So cry if you’re hurting.

Feel your pain and let it go.

You might feel vulnerable and embarrassed, but it is okay.

Remember that everyone cries.

It is a normal response to pain.

So lean on your support system and give them a chance to be there for you.

2. Move in private

Win in private and take your losses in private.

It helps you to avoid public embarrassment.

Plus, it is easier when you don’t have to explain your story to everyone.

Another reason to keep your goals private is that research has shown that when you tell your goals to other people, you are less likely to achieve them.

This happens because your brain releases hormones that trick you into believing your goal is already done.

At that moment, you feel satisfaction of completion, and you become less motivated to finish what you started.

I remind you that private isn’t a secret.

You can consult people close to you for opinions and advice if you wish.

However, do not let it out of your circle.

Like my mom says: “Not everybody that’s laughing with you is your friend”.

Some people are haters and root for/sabotage you to fail.

So set your goals, make a plan, and take action.

If you want to seek advice from close friends and family, but keep it private until it is done.

3. Take responsibility and accept your current situation

Recognise that you have failed and provide yourself with some consolation.

Let me teach you how.

– Have empathy for yourself as you would for anyone else.

Look in the mirror and pretend you’re talking to a friend.

Listen to what you’ve said to your “friend” and compare it with what you have been saying to yourself in the same situation.

It will probably sound very different.

Humans tend to be harsh with themselves.

Now evaluate these thoughts and determine if they serve you.

If your mindset is not helping, pay attention and be mindful about how you talk to yourself.

Notice when you call yourself bad names, or when you begin to catastrophize.

Every time that happens, choose to be kind to yourself.

This is how you create the habit of calming yourself down and valuing yourself.

At this point, when you are down, avoid laying blame on yourself and others.

Even if you believe you should have known better, you don’t have to blame yourself for not being able to predict this outcome.

The goal in this step is to take responsibility for the situation you are in because, no matter what happened or why, you had a part in it.

Once you decide that everything from this point is your responsibility, you will naturally take control of the situation.

– Focus on what you can control.

You can’t control what other people do or say, or whether you have failed or not.

The only thing you can control is your reaction.

You can make better decisions.

Logically assess what your role was in this failure.

Ask yourself what you would have done differently and take note to do better next time.

4. Don’t blame other people

So, if you’re not blaming others or yourself, what do you do?

You cry, take your loss, console yourself, take responsibility and find solutions to your problem.

In that order.

The time you use to blame other people is precious and could be used to improve your situation.

Especially if it’s a financial blow.

The time after a failure is when you should be solution-oriented.

Although you should take time to process your pain, make a plan as soon as you have the mental space and take action.

5. Don’t get attached to the feeling of failure

After failing, it can be comfortable to sit in misery.

People feel sorry for you, and you’re the centre of attention.

Some people get stuck imagining what would have been.

Don’t.

So, how to overcome from a failure?

Understand that this is your new reality, and accept it as fast as possible.

Make it a happy reality as soon as you can.

If you can try again at your goals, do that.

If you can’t, find a plan that will leave you equally satisfied.

There is no need to feel undeserving of good things because of a setback.

You also don’t have to aim lower at your goals.

Adjust the plan to your current reality.

It’s okay to find something “lesser” than what you want if it gives you room for improvement.

6. You will probably fail more. Get used to it

We are all living for the first time so mistakes are a given.

You need to embrace them so they won’t eat you alive.

If you have failed at something, it means you were trying.

Only those who never go after their dream have the luxury of never failing.

But they also regret the most.

All great advancements in the world were obtained through trial and error.

You need to fail to get enough information about what works and what does not.

And then you try again with more knowledge.

Remember that the definition of failure is man-made.

What is defined as failure is different for each person.

It’s an invention, so you can change what failure means to you at any point in time.

You can decide that failing is to give up on a goal completely instead of not achieving it now.

You can decide that success is achieving it in five years.

What can we learn from failure and success

Failing is not the problem.

The problem is that in the Western world, you are taught to see failure as something to avoid and not as part of the learning process.

From an early age, you are labelled based on how much you can “produce” and urged to value the appearance of perfection much more than reality.

Grades, rankings and classifications come as tools to quantify success.

The other side of this coin is that you become just another number.

Things that are not quantifiable become worthless in the eyes of society, and very slowly, in your eyes as well.

You are conditioned to never show insecurities, weakness or failure and to perform and produce as much as possible.

Only when you have reached a perfect goal or life can you be truly loved or valued by others.

I want to advise you not to let this mentality consume you.

Life is not an achievement competition.

Your worth is not based on how much you have achieved and how much you have to give.

You can simply be and exist without constantly achieving or seeking.

You can stop and take breaks, and fail.

And you need to fail in life.

Failing is essential to success because it teaches you to adapt, and sharpens your biggest weapons – all the things that are not quantifiable.

Tenacity, compassion, good communication, teamwork, creativity, leadership and more are things you should value outside the setting of achieving and productivity.

Because at the end of the day, these skills allow you to move forward and bounce back after a loss.

They are the makers of success.

As long as you repeat that the most important thing in life is to be perfect and not fail, you will continue to condemn yourself to be a prisoner of your failures.

And that creates a mental block for your success.

You will be stuck in the past and believe you are not capable of chasing after what you want.

I recognise that it can be hard to take a step forward when things don’t go as planned, so I have written a step-by-step guide on how to deal with rejection and see setbacks as opportunities.

You can read it below.

Science Applied To Life

Reframe our mindset to see rejection as an opportunity and redirection. Discover the 6 steps you can take to learn how to deal with rejection today.

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Disclaimer: This article is informational only. This article does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional. If you have questions or concerns about mental health, you should make an appointment to see a board-certified psychologist.