Learn How to Deal With Rejection from Enzymes
I’m sure you have heard inspirational stories about how successful people were rejected from jobs or dates. And how they handled it so well and without losing composure. Until one day it’s your turn and all you have to show for is tears and anxiety. Now it’s time to learn how to deal with rejection.
While being rejected doesn’t mean you are not wanted, valued, or accepted, it can feel like you are failing yourself and the expectations of others around you. Because it does not bring good feelings, it becomes hard to understand that rejection and setbacks are necessary for growth.
Rejection activates the same areas in your brain that physical pain does. Because being rejected is painful it can deeply impact self-worth and self-confidence.
Rejection will continue to feel hard until you see it as an opportunity for self-improvement and a chance to consider if there are things you can work on.
Sometimes a rejection is a harsh reality check. But if you approach it correctly, it can be a redirection toward something else that is a perfect fit for you.
Thinking of things in this way requires reframing your point of view. You can use scientific theories to put things in perspective. Learn how to deal with rejection from enzymes.
How to deal with rejection – a change in perspective with science
Enzymes are small proteins that mediate chemical reactions in your body. They are biocatalysts, which means they are shortcuts to achieving better results in a shorter amount of time.
One of the criteria to determine whether an enzyme is good or not is selectivity.
Selectivity is the enzyme’s ability to perform the desired reaction instead of another one, which is also possible.
Enzymes work by binding to a molecule called a substrate. The substrate connects to the enzyme and initiates the chemical reaction.
Although there are a lot of subtracts, only a few can be connected. Other subtracts, despite being just as possible to connect are rejected. Why? Due to selectivity.
Because enzymes are very selective, no matter how many substrates try to bind to them, they very quickly realize that they can’t bind themselves as they are not the best fit. What do these substrates do? They connect with another enzyme that they are fit for.
How does this apply to life? If we look at enzymes as opportunities that will allow you to go achieve your goals faster and you as the substrate. Then selectivity would be the ability to choose the things you prefer instead of another thing which is also possible for you.
You can only bind to an opportunity if you are a good fit. If you discover you don’t fit, other opportunities are available to you, and just as possible to achieve.
This is a law of nature. Many molecules in your body only function if they have the right receptors. Plants can only grow in the proper environment and animals cannot live outside their habitat for long.
There is no such thing as a perfect fit, but finding the place where you don’t belong now, may lead to a chain of reactions that will lead your life to a much better place. Your body innately understands this perspective, so you can too.
Instead of feeling bad about yourself, accept your current reality as soon as possible and prepare for the next path in front of you. Let’s get more specific on how to achieve that below.
Navigate Rejection – step-by-step (results may vary)
1. Recognize it
Understand that you are being rejected. It is okay to try and negotiate or find common ground, but at the end of the day, you have to learn how to take a no for an answer. Not every situation is up for debate. If the other party expressed discomfort or fear step away.
2. Acknowledge the byproducts of rejection
Rejection on its own is not bad. It teaches restraint, impulse control and that we can’t always get what we want.
But the aftermath of rejection, if not handled well, is an issue because it brings feelings like fear, hurt, anxiety, jealousy, and vulnerability. It can even be paralysing. If you have been rejected a lot you start to believe bad things about yourself.
In the western world, it is common to perceive the above emotions as negative or inconvenient. You need to understand that these emotions are not inherently bad, but it is you that give it the connotation.
Although it is not easy, you need to acknowledge these feelings. The only way out is through, so give what you are feeling a name so you can process it healthily. If you are sad or angry there is no need to pretend you are okay.
When I can’t recognize what I am feeling, I use the feelings wheel, which is a great resource to identify emotions correctly. This is important because when you accuarately express your feelings, you can emotionally regulate and get the support you need.
For example, feeling sad does not require the same support and it will not ignite the same reaction as feeling humilliated. Knowing what you are feeling will help you navigate different emotions in a healthy way and even recognize your triggers.
3. Understand rejection is part of life
Everyone has been rejected. Billions of people before you have been rejected. Even someone you admire has probably been there before. You are not alone.
Talk to a friend or a mentor about your experience and share your understanding of what you are feeling. A good conversation can make you feel less isolated and put things in perspective when you realize it is not something that is happening exclusively to you.
The truth is you will probably be rejected again, so it is very important to understand that rejection is not usually personal and is not a reflection of your success in life.
Don’t tie your self-esteem and confidence to something you have no control over, and it is very subjective like rejection. It can bring bad results in the long term.
4. Don’t be too self-critic
After being rejected it is easy to become self-critical. From name-calling to doubting your ability and even a sense of inadequacy. These behaviours further damage your self-esteem.
To change your perspective on rejection and see it as a good thing you need to be intentional about the way you think and what you think about.
Remove negative thoughts that cause you to think your current path is the worst thing that could happen to you. It is not. It is a different outcome from what you planned, but a redirection toward something different.
This is also a good time to avoid comparisons.
You can learn how to deal with rejection in a better way by adopting coping mechanisms to avoid unhealthy responses. Learn how to self-soothe your emotional pain.
5. Evaluate your options
You are not helpless before adversity. You can grow and evolve. So after being rejected you have options.
If you have the resources and the chance, try again with more information, qualifications or experience.
If you don’t, take it as a learning experience. You can take rejection as feedback regarding what you need to improve on, or as an indicator to understand the direction you should be going toward.
At the end of the day, this path is not the only path to achieve the result you seek.
For example. If you want to teach people a topic you are proficient in, you can take a college degree and become a professor.
But you can also create an online course, or even become a mentor to someone with less experience. There are many ways to achieve the desired result so take a second to evaluate what you have and what you can do with it.
6. Move past it
Rejection is not failure. Unlearn that. You have not failed. Your circumstances have changed.
When circumstances change and interfere with your goal, don’t get sidetracked. Go back on course by fitting your goal to your new reality. The goals need to change to fit your reality, not the other way around. So set a new path to success.
Although the trial and error process in striving for your goal has led you in a direction you wouldn’t have originally thought of. You will still be successful if you learn to be flexible enough to grow and change as your goals grow and change.
Understand that a plan is a theoretical version of reality you created and should be treated as such. It can and should be adjusted according to the different life circumstances.
You are stronger now. Focus on what you do have instead of being caught up in what it could have been. Your life is literally what you make of it.
Disclaimer: The above is not intended as a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. I am not a board-certified psychologist.
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Final Thoughts
It is not easy to learn how to deal with rejection. It requires mental work to reframe your perspective and begin to see rejection as an opportunity. But the better you get at dealing with rejection, the more you will recognize it as a part of your growth.
The hardest part is having to face the judgement and opinions of others which may lead you to feel ridiculized and exposed. Keep reminding yourself of your worth and do not attach your self-worth to someone else that isn’t you.
The way people see you do not diminish your value. But if you need help learning how to stop caring what others think of you, read the post below.
This method allows you to reevaluate unsolicited opinions in your life that are holding you back or stopping you from being your most authentic self.
Disclaimer: This article is informational only. This article does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional. If you have questions or concerns about mental health, you should make an appointment to see a board-certified psychologist.
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